Yoga life lessons -Back in Bali where it all began, let’s dive deep

Warning– I go deep with this one – a time to reflect, I am back where it all began- on a solo journey once more pursuing another yoga teacher training, but it all feels very different. 

I embarked upon my yoga journey initially ‘To find balance’, my nervous system was so dysregulated. (I will talk more on this in upcoming posts and future blogs)

Currently I am aiming to keep balance in my life- welcoming imperfection daily.

For years, one thing I really struggled with was body image. I remember that moment joining my initial yoga teacher training and looking around the room, all I could see was perfection, why could I see it in everyone else but myself? And there it was underneath it all, insecurity. 

I was in a constant state of comparison, trying to better my external state in the hope my internal state would mend.

Mindset Shift

Thankfully only 2 years later, that is diminished significantly. (We are all prone to a little comparison but not when it takes over your thoughts and rules your everyday actions, inactions, routine, behaviours.)

Reflecting back, I don’t recognise myself, the insecurity, I feel a sense of sadness. What had led me to become so obsessed with appearance, with others, how did I actually think losing 2 kg or getting abs would fix my internal state. The ‘I’ll be happy when…’ scenario. 

Those initial intensive 3 weeks on my yoga teacher training changed my life forever, but that was only the beginning of my journey. I am still doing the work today, having built my own personal toolkit to navigate my everyday stressors and strengthening my internal state to where it is today.

Self- awareness developed on the yoga mat- enabled me to become aware of the root cause, to peel back the layers, to question my internal dialogue, my inner critic, I uncovered who I was, not who I think I should show up as. 

For years I had lost out on so much, living in my head, in a constant state of comparison, not fully being present with myself, my family or my emotions.

Only in the last few years have I gained more balance, confidence, self acceptance and self love. The process of self acceptance is not one that came easy but through my yoga training, my personal yoga practice & devising my own personal toolkit to manage my internal & external stressors. 

We can put so much pressure on ourselves – to be, to look, all the shoulds.

I could have stayed miserable, depriving, denying, comparing, people pleasing, but I choose to make the changes with the my new found self awareness.

Previously I didn’t actually realise I was creating my own misery, creating my reality led by my thoughts, my behaviours, my inactions.

Maybe it’s an age thing, we gain wisdom as we grow. But it has been my yoga journey that has enabled me to deepen my connection to self, to develop the self awareness, ‘through stillness we find

clarity. ’ I got to know who I am, I had been so disconnected for years. I found out what I liked, what truly makes me happy, it only took about 30 years of living. I began to form an opinion, to find my own voice.

Leaving behind the activities I used to numb the pain, control, food, alcohol, smoking, exercise. I was escaping my own internal reality.

Have you ever considered ‘you are the creator of your reality?

Journal Prompt- Identify repeated behaviours, thought patterns, habit loops, outdated routines not serving your best self?

Are you following shoulds, and societal or social media pressures, 

Are you allowing past experiences define you? 

The fear of staying the same, that is one thing I spoke about after my initial yoga teacher training, I never wanted to go back to the ‘old, outdated me’ once you gain the insight, once you ‘become aware’. Once you begin ‘to truly see’, one thing is for sure you CAN’T UNSEE. 

Now as I return to Bali, I don’t recognise that insecure, appearance obsessed, fearful girl.

I feel empowered, strong, determined and proud of who I am. 

This time round I am living in my body not my head.

Is It Easy? No,

You don’t just flick a switch,

It’s something you work on regularly, 

Everyone needs their own toolkit, what works for them and this may change constantly.

Currently it’s yoga, meditation, walks, breathwork, journaling, nourishing food, benefiting my body, mind and soul.

Want to get out of your head and start actually living in your body?

Yoga, breath, meditation, journaling can get you there. 

DM with any questions on how to get started on your yoga journey today. 

Download my FREE mind body journal here!

Get out of your head & back into your body. 

Interested in experiencing the benefits? Yoga as a lifestyle?

See you on the mat soon!

Namaste,
Jenny Xx 

Next blog… Are you dysregulating your body? Including a checklist to get back into balance.

Simple and effective tools to add to your toolkit.